LOVE WILL FIND YOU
by: Kyla Tollefson
We live in a world full of fragile love. Love that fades, love that divorces, love that is selfish and demanding. Love is a word we use so loosely and without much meaning these days. Maybe we don’t really get it. We desperately search and desire to be loved, but what if we’ve lost what it really means to love somebody?
As little girls we dream of a prince who will come sweep us off our feet and rescue us from the castle. We play pretend with dolls in our rooms and live in a fairytale world that to us is no fairytale at all; it’s reality. We truly believed that our Prince would one day come, and- complete us. We read about happily every after, and it all seemed so perfectly real. Who could blame us for believing it. But that was a time in our lives when all that really mattered was playtime and fruit rollups.
Then we go to school, and we encounter boys on a daily basis. We are absorbed in an environment where crushes change with every ring of the school bell. When the boy we like is chasing us down at recess, and constantly teasing us, we still have a crush on this boy, obviously. Young girls always see past the fact that these young boys are more interested in wrestling and Lego than in her, and she dreams up a future for the two of them with her girlfriends on the swings.
Everything changes when we hit high school; the relationships certainly look different. We are drawn into new experiences and relationships that tend to be more passionate and involved. This is usually the place where we first encounter “love” in all of its flaws and failures. We are no longer immune to the differences of the opposite sex, but something about them lures us and intrigues us. Everyone starts hooking up, because obviously that’s what you’re supposed to do. Right? High school is full of break-outs and break-ups. We date these boys to make us feel one way, and these boys date us to feel another. He says, “I love you,” and we conjure up a dream that we’ll be married and live happily every after. Then, the relationship ends, and we run back to him crying, “I thought you loved me?!” There is so much competition among girls, and there is this intense desire in us to feel like we’re good enough. The feelings of self worth and security fade with each relationship. Some girls find themselves empty after the termination of, what they thought was, true love.
I honestly believe that there is a question woven into the being of every person. Where do I belong? For girls, it boils down to another question. Am I loved? We are on a desperate journey to find the answer to this question. Every girl wants to be truly and deeply loved, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s what we do on this journey that affects the final outcome. We walk on unstable ground when we start to give ourselves physically to get love from these boys. We try so hard to fill a void with these young men who are as lost as we are. They cannot fill a need in us that they themselves have not yet found. We need to remember that we make decisions based on where our affections are. The direction of your affections influences everything in your life.
Fill your life with true friendship, and things of importance to you. Live your life to the fullest and search for the things that truly make you happy. Find your fulfillment in faith, family, dreams, and desires. Now, I’m not telling you to stop dating because that would be very unrealistic. I’m just encouraging you to hold onto the dream of true love, and not give it to every male you encounter.
I was once given the best advice. Live an interesting life, and love will find you.
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